Reflections on Hardship 5

I am writing again in my hospital bed, only a week or so after I first wrote of my illness in the 3rd article in this series. It is now Sunday 31st January 2010. When I wrote that earlier article I had no idea that the illness would turn out to be as serious as it is. I knew obviously that it was serious enough to be hospitalized and be taking fluids by IV! But I thought they just needed to do a few tests, work out what was wrong and then do something quickly - either involving minor surgery or medication - and then I would be on my way home. It was a bit of an inconvenience, and a frustration, and yes, a derailment.

But 4 days ago I found out that the problem is actually caused by a lymphoma - a type of cancer. As I write, the biopsy results still have not been fully finalized so that we know exactly which sort of lymphoma it is. However, I am told that any lymphoma is treatable, and probably has the highest cure rate of any cancer. However, that does not make it a walk in the park! The cure comes at the cost of 6 months of chemotherapy (assuming it is the type they think it is) and other treatment. This is more than a derailment.

So what will my reaction be? Do I regret writing any of the stuff I have previously written about the reasons for Christians suffering hardship and pain? How can I see a silver lining in this? What is the good that will come of it, since I seem so sure that God has a good purpose in anything that happens to His children?

Let me first of all say that I have had no desire to retract anything. I still look at hardship and suffering in the same way. Ok, this is pretty bad, and I haven't been through the worst of it yet, but I still know that God is the same God, He loves me, He has everything in the world in the palm of His hand. He gave His Son to die for me, so why would anything else good be withheld from me?

The other thing is that I admit that I cried 3 days ago. But perhaps not for reasons you may think.

I had had a really exhausting day the day after I received the diagnosis of lymphoma. It was stressful trying to work out how to tell the kids without worrying them unnecessarily, but that went well. Unfortunately I was sick and felt sick pretty much all day as well. The first time I was sick was literally minutes before the porter arrived to take me for another CT scan. I sat in the wheelchair going down to the scan with a sick bowl in my lap! I then felt sick all afternoon and had to put on a bright and cheerful face when the kids came up to visit. After they had all gone I flopped on my bed, and the next I knew it was almost 2 hours later! I got up and was sick again!

The next day was the day I cried. Somebody was telling me how people had been helped by my recently posted blog articles. I'd also received two moving messages in particular that spoke of the impact a couple of the articles had had on people. And I just felt overwhelmed.

The reason I feel overwhelmed is that God has yet again used my situation to bring glory to Himself, to draw people closer to Himself. And it seems like the weaker I am, the more that seems to happen. The words I was trying to get out while I was too emotional were something like, "writing these articles is just about all I've been able to do while I've been in here, just lying in bed most days, and yet they seem to be have been used more by God than almost anything I've ever done."

In 2 Corinthians 12:9-10, the apostle Paul tells us what the Lord said to him when he was facing harsh trials and pleading for relief: "… he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.'" Paul's response was to react with joy. He says, "Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest in me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults [received], in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

I guess that's how I feel now. His power has been magnified so far in my weakness. And I hope it continues that way. And I hope I am able to continue to talk of my weakness, and my tears, in order to glorify God. In fact, given the grueling months I think we have ahead of us, I don't think there is any doubt that I will be able to talk some more about my weakness!

God has a good reason for everything!

The last thing I wanted to say here is that there are some people who hate Christians, and want to make us out to be arrogant moralists or wacky airheads! But when I read the New Testament, all I seem to come across is deep forgiveness, bringing radical healing and redemption, preached through people who are in themselves unimpressive and pretty weak. True Christians delight to highlight our own weaknesses so that we can show just how much God has done, and is doing for us, and show Him as strong and glorious.

I hope I always remember to do that. At the moment I just know that in my mind cancer is big and kind of scary. But I also know that God is bigger, He knows all about cancer and He knows the purpose behind it. He also loves me and part of His purpose will involve good for me and others who love Him, even if I never personally witness the full extent of it. And as Corrie Ten Boon said from within the Nazi concentration camp, "No hell is so deep that He is not deeper still."

To Him be the glory!

Why Does God Answer Other People's Prayers and Not Mine?!

Here's something I started to learn in my last big gap between jobs. It has since been reinforced, but I think it will be many years before it finally sinks in.

I can't remember how many months I had been without paid work. It could have been three or four. I was starting to feel very anxious every day. I knew it was not right to worry so much, but the daily decisions over what to do to market myself and generate leads were starting to overwhelm me. I was worrying that the money was going to run out in a few months, and then we would have to sell the car, then sell the house, etc.

I was praying specifically at the time for myself, that the Lord would help me to trust completely in Him, that He would enable me not to worry. I prayed that I would just be able to focus on each day's requirements, and that my mind would be settled regarding the future. But the Lord denied me that peace.

In our church we have small groups, called housegroups, where we meet midweek every other week to study the Bible, pray and encourage each other. For some reason normally, even in these groups, I have found people are reticent to share things for prayer about themselves that are close to their heart. They deflect, asking for prayer for their neighbour's son who fell off his bike, or their work colleague whose wife had an affair. Sometimes these concerns are genuine, and it's certainly right to pray for them. But I know, confessing for myself, that sometimes these prayer requests are designed to deflect away from asking for anything for ourselves. I don't know why! Perhaps we don't like people getting to know us too deeply. Perhaps we like people to thing our lives are a bit more together than they really are.

But for a while the housegroup I attend we managed to buck that trend. I won't say that we all completely opened up to each other, but there has certainly been more sharing of more personal and sensitive stuff. During this time, I shared my anxiety about the job situation. I said that most of the time I cover up the fact that I am worried. I am blessed with the ability to appear calm even when I am pretty stressed! And the group prayed for me, amongst others, in the meeting, and continued to pray specifically in their own personal prayer times.

A couple of weeks later I remarked to someone that I had been blessed with a remarkable peace about my work and financial situation. Nothing else had changed. I was still out of work. There were no more prospects. I was still facing financial ruin in a matter of months. But I had been able to put the worries of the future out of mind and focus on the day's requirements each day.

And I traced this peace back to the specific prayers of the members of my housegroup. Praise God for answered prayer!... BUT…

… I had been praying the same for myself for weeks before. Why did God answer the prayers of other people for me positively, but not my own?

Some Christians would mistakenly assume that it has something to do with my faith. Perhaps I didn't pray with faith, but my friends did. I have always marveled that people jump to that conclusion so quickly. It is really quite uncharitable, and not warranted.

The conclusion I came to was that God often is pleased to use the prayers of others for us, rather than our own prayers, for several reasons. Here are two:

First, so that we don't start to think it is our prayers that are effective in getting God's action. If God answered all our own prayers for ourselves, we might start to use prayer as a kind of magic spell, under our control and for our own use. We have to realize that when we pray we are asking the Almighty God to act on our behalf. It is His power that is effective in answered prayer. Another way of putting it is to say that we should not talk about the "power of prayer", but the power of God in graciously acting in response to prayer. Prayer is not powerful. God is. (In fact, isn't it the very weakness of prayer that displays the power of God when He answers!)

Second, so that we are encouraged to bond as a community and care for each other. As we share our burdens, God uses the church community to bring us grace and help. God has arranged things so that, as Christians, we are called into a new community - the church. We relate to God directly, through Christ, as individuals, yes. But God's will is that those individuals knit together to form a new community.

The apostle Peter said, "But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God… Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God." (1 Peter 1:9-10)

Paul says, "you are no longer foreigners and aliens, but fellow-citizens with God's people and members of God's household." (Eph 2:19) He refers to Christians as a "building [that] is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord." (Eph 2:21) In Ephesians 4, he speaks of the church as the "body of Christ" (v12), and explains how this works, "speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work." (vv15-16).

God works through the church, not normally through individual Christians. We need each other.

I have to say that I have never neglected going to church for any significant period of my life, although there have been times when I have contributed more in terms of service and ministry. But this experience made me realize that I had never really appreciated how much I need the church. Sometimes we Christians spend much of our time complaining about our local church, looking down on our brothers and sisters, criticizing the pastor, getting fed up with the musicians, and so on. But we need each other. God has ordained it so that we cannot grow without each other.

There is much more that can be said on this. However, I will simply refer you to a chapter in Tim Chester's book, You Can Change, that I found helpful on these points about the place of the church in our growth as Christians.

From learning these things, I have made a couple of practical changes that I thought I would share with you. First, I now try to make sure that I pray for others more than I pray for myself. And I tend to ask people more what I can pray for them. Second, I see writing these blog posts as more important, because in them I can, with God's blessing, help to build up the church. So I will continue blogging my reflections as much as I can, with the prayer that each post will do just that, for the glory and praise of our great God and Saviour, Jesus Christ.

Fighting for holiness like Black Hawk Down

One of my favourite films is the Ridley Scott classic, Black Hawk Down. I don't need to describe the storyline in much detail here. The point is that it's a war film. Now, many film buffs may say that there are better war films around, perhaps like Saving Private Ryan or Platoon. But I haven't seen those. War films have never really been my thing! I only saw Black Hawk Down on TV by accident, and was gripped from the moment I started watching! I've since watched it again on DVD.

What was so striking to me, and what caught my attention, was that there was nothing really macho about it. It seemed to be straightforward and real, with characters who were all different. The soldiers were not all macho killing machines with super strength and stamina, like many of the characters played by Shwarzenegger, Stalone, Van Damme, and the like. And the story did not gloss over emotional weakness. Some of the soldiers were scared, some made mistakes in the heat of battle. Bravery did not always prevail. Some brave men were killed early. Some weak men were saved. It was portrayed the way I imagine war to be: Messy, awful, triumphant, depressing, anxious, terrifying, and just sometimes a bit random.

Readers who are real soldiers, or men of the forces, will probably smile at my naivity. From their point of view, probably even Black Hawk Down is too Hollywood and unreal. But for me it was real enough!

But the thing that really got to me was the ferocity of the fighting. Once the operation was underway the American soldiers were under attack constantly on almost all fronts. In part, that is what made the film so gripping. There was no rest, no time when the soldiers could put their weapons down and relax. Even when a group of soldiers found a building in which to hide to wait for help, they still had to post guards and rest nervously in shifts.

The Bible talks about life as a Christian as either a battle or a race. Consider the following passages:

'Put on the full armour of God,' says Paul, 'so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes.' (Ephesians 6:11) He speaks in 2 Corinthians 10:3-4 of the way that we 'wage war,' and the 'weapons we fight with.'

Peter writes, urging his readers to, 'abstain from sinful desires, which war against our souls.' (1 Peter 2:11)

'I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith,' is the way Paul described his life as he neared the end of it (see also 1 Timothy 1:18-19 and 6:12).

The writer to the Hebrews exhorts us to, 'run with perseverance the race set before us.' (Hebrews 12:1)

If there is one thing you should take away from these passages, if not from any other, it's that Christianity does not just consist of conversion. We often talk about evangelism and becoming a Christian as if it's everything, but it's not. There is lots more to being a Christian than starting to believe and starting to come to church! It is a continuous battle, or a race, with an objective. The objective is to become more like the Lord Jesus Christ and to glorify Him. It's about the whole of your life, not just a moment in your life followed by 90 minutes every Sunday!

What Black Hawk Down made me think was that if the spiritual battle is really analogous to a real battle, such as the one depicted in the film, then I must be fighting it wrong. Real soldiers take care to choose the right weapons, and the right armour, they choose routes carefully, plan their missions purposefully, hide from danger, avoid unnecessary risks, and fight the enemy when they have to.

And the enemy in a physical war never gives you any space, never lets up in its pursuit unless it is beaten or in retreat, will fire a shower of bullets if you show so much as a toe around the corner of a building, and will never give up hunting you down and inflicting you with pain and damage until you are defeated.

That is how Black Hawk Down depicts the physical battle in Mogodishu. Gritty, relentless, well-planned, but with plans that go wrong, under attack all the time, relying on each other, using heavy weaponry and armoury, shouting at each other to warn, protect and encourage, never giving up, being alert, thinking quickly, keeping watch, calling for backup, tending the wounded… all those kind of things.

The competitors in a physical race don't give you a head start, or slow down to let you go ahead. They pump their arms and legs relentlessly as fast as they can, with no break, with the aim of leaving you far behind.

Being honest, this is not the way I live my life. And that's why the enemy catches me so often with his temptations. That's why my sin trips me up, and I get brought down by unbelief and sinful desire. And I do, let me assure you.

I live focused on the external, the journey to work, the pressure of work and family, managing the finances, what plans I have for the future, the way the children are behaving, how to fit in more service for the church, what to make for dinner tonight. And for a few minutes every day I may say an abstract prayer asking for spiritual growth, relief from temptation and the protection or conversion of friends and family.

My life, being honest, is not one that is lived with spiritual warfare constantly in mind, as the Bible urges so often. I live like the Christian life is a picnic or a fairground, not a war!

"Be self-controlled and alert." Says Peter, "Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." (1 Peter 5:8)

Paul says, "Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God." (Colossians 3:1-3)

There is a saying of some people that they are, "so heavenly minded that they are of no earthly use." I hate that saying. I don't think I'd be ready to admit it has even a grain of truth in it. Read again Paul's words from Colossians - where are our minds to be set? "On things above"! The interesting thing to notice, too, is that not only does Paul say that, but he continues the letter with outlining ways in which this heavenly-mindedness will affect their earthly lives, how they will fight the spiritual battle:

"Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. Because of these the wrath of God is coming… But now you must rid yourself of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander and filthy language from your lips. Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator." (Colossians 3:5-10)

Being heavenly-minded gives rise to practical, down-to-earth, holiness! Oh how we need more Christians to be more heavenly minded! It's only the sight of Christ on His throne, conquering for us with His death and resurrection, assuring our own victory over death, that will give us the hope that we need to overcome the spiritual warfare. Satan longs to tear us down from the road to Christ's throne by planting our feet firmly back on earth, where we get bogged down in lust, lies and evil desires.

Here’s the other thing about being heavenly-minded - our trials, sufferings and hardships will not pull us off course, but will help us in our spiritual battle. One more passage:

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." (2 Corinthians 4:16-18)

In summary, let's hear the challenge of God's Word and fight for holiness with the tenacity of a real battle in the spiritual realm. But let's fight by being more heavenly-minded, setting our minds on things above. Let's remember the spiritual battle is fought with spiritual weapons and spiritual armour, so that we may fight the good fight of faith in this life, and attain a "crown of life" in the next. We can't, if we are to persevere to the end, be lazy and comfortable with the way we are. We can't live as if the holiness and sanctification that God wants to see in us is not worth fighting for, not worth sacrificing for.

"For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against rulers, against authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armour of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled round your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints." (Ephesians 6:12-18)

Reflections on hardship 4

For those who are not (yet) Christians

I guess I intended my last few blog articles for those who are Christians like me. However, a few people who have read my articles may not have been Christians. If that's you, I am a little bit conscious that what I have written may not make much sense to you if you do not have the starting point of a faith in Jesus Christ. You might wonder about what all the fuss is about "glorifying God" and "bringing praise to His name". You might think it a bit fanatical to try and "find our all in God", and to be "free of self". You might think God a bit selfish for being ready to discipline believers with hardship and suffering in order to bring Himself praise. You may have wondered what I was on about when I spoke about God punishing sin by punishing Christ (who was sinless), so that we sinners would not be punished.

"What's it all about?" you may be thinking! So here are a few explanatory comments.

First, God is fundamental to everything that exists. It all exists because He brought it into existence. We exist because He made us. Human beings are the pinnacle of His creation, and He made us "in His image", which the Bible's way of saying that He made us to uniquely reflect His characteristics. Obviously, God is infinite, but we are not, so that's why we talk about a reflection or an image and not a copy. So human beings are moral beings, emotional beings, intelligent and creative beings - like God - things that set them apart from the animal kingdom as a unique creation.

We also believe that God created everything with a purpose. God's purpose in creating was to point to His own glorious character. In creating a species in His own image, with the ability to relate to Him, He was also giving them the ability to appreciate and share His own glorious character.

That's why as Christians we aim to "find our all in God", to put self to one side, to "glorify" God. This is why He created us.

I have heard some non-Christians object that this is rather self-centred or selfish of God. How can God point out the sinfulness of selfishness, when He Himself is utterly self-centred? But that misses the point.

God is infinitely good, loving, gracious, compassionate, powerful and glorious. He has infinite capacity for beauty, joy, ecstasy, pleasure and all this in perfection - since He defines in His creation what is perfect, good and beautiful, based on His own character.

So it may be self-centred of God to want people to share in and honour Him. But it is also gracious and loving of Him to want people to share in the best of everything good - which can only be found in Him.

And when we get that warm feeling of joy and pleasure when we see or feel something good in creation - a great mountain, a beautiful lake, a gorgeous sunset, the thrill of love - that's because God has given us that capacity to reflect His perfect character.

Second, as Christians we are painfully and explicitly aware of the reality and seriousness of sin. People don't like talking about sin these days. But we all know that it exists in our own lives, in our families, communities and societies. God has made us with a conscience, a feel for what is right and wrong. Sometimes that conscience is corrupted and we delude ourselves, but often deep down eventually we have to admit things to be wrong especially when we suffer adverse consequences following them.

The essence of sin, the root that you can trace it all back to, is selfishness and self-centredness. It's saying that I actually know best, I will decide for myself how to satisfy myself, I will define for myself what is right and wrong in my life, I will go for my own pleasure as a primary objective without reference to anybody else. In contrast to God's self-centredness, our own self-centredness is not loving. It is selfish and unloving.

So, sure, God may have given ten commandments, and a bunch of laws to His people, the Israelites - Moses and those people. But those were all really just making specific the general principle - moral goodness is about honouring God as the highest good; sin is about dishonouring God through making our own desires our highest aim.

I'm hoping that these first two points clarify two things.
• A), that human beings are wired up to appreciate things God's way. Our inbuilt sense of morality and our inbuilt sense of joy, pleasure and beauty, are all evidence of the imprint of God's image within us. And that is what makes human beings special, set apart above the rest of creation. And,
• B), that when Christians talk about sin they are not necessarily talking about breaking a commandment or law. Sin in our hearts manifests itself in breaking commandments, in immoral acts and wickedness. But sin is also evidenced by things that are not legally wicked - like rape or murder - but also in things like, anger, disloyalty, greed, gossip, lying, pollution, etc. All those things show our selfishness, and our failure to live up to God's image in us.

Third, building on those points, we are all sinners. You may wonder what the point of story of Adam and Eve is. (I say "story", but it's really history. They were really the first human beings that God created and we are all descended from them.) The point is that Adam and Eve were God's original human beings, created directly by Him, not being born. They were created part of God's original perfect universe. That's right! When God first made the universe it was perfect. Hard to imagine now! No illness, no death, no fighting, no anger or hatred. Nothing went wrong. It was paradise.

However, you will hopefully remember (trying to cut a long story short - if you don't remember, go and look at the first few chapters of the Bible), that Adam and Eve broke the only command that God gave them. And the reason they did that was because they thought they knew better than God. They ignored what He said about the way to enjoy His perfect paradise, and they decided to disobey Him. They were banished from the garden of Eden, which was the centre of the creation and the epitome of paradise, and the creation was cursed because of them. Their lives were cut short, so death came into the world, and the world was cursed with working a little bit out of kilter. Things would be difficult. It would be hard to find pleasure and joy. God would hide Himself, and there would not be a direct access to Him.

So that first sin, and our ultimate ancestors' sinfulness, as well as the consequences of sin, have had repercussions for every human being that has ever lived, and for all the creation. The Bible says that we, "all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." (Romans 3:23)

The reason I wanted to explain this, and I have laboured the point to a certain extent, is that people very often think that Christians are all about "do this" and "don't do that". As if all we think about is morality. We're not, and we don't. I will come on to the central message of Christianity in a minute, but morality is only part of Christianity in that it shows us how God wants us to live. It shows us how we are to reflect God's image and live the way He intended us to live, enjoying the full blessing of His goodness and perfection. Since Adam and Eve, unfortunately, morality has really simply shown us how far we have fallen. It gives us a sense of hopelessness, because conscience tells us we can't live up to those perfect moral standards.

So of course Christians say that wrong things are wrong, because God says they are wrong, and not because we think we are any better than anyone else. We're not.

So when I have spoken about finding our all in God, or about losing self; when I have gone on about how I want to glorify God as a Christian and submit to His will, I am really just saying that we want to get back to living the way God intended when He created us. And that's good because God intended us to share in Himself, and He is perfectly good, bringing perfect joy and peace and beauty.

But if you are not (yet) a believer I really wanted you to understand the stuff that follows now. How do you get from sinfulness, and suffering the sense of hopelessness that comes from turning against God and living our own way, to finding our all in God and enjoying His perfect pleasures?

So the fourth thing I want to say is that it is utterly hopeless! You can't! You can't simply stop sinning and start wanting to live for God. And if you did try, God would not be impressed. Why? Because our sinfulness has made us spiritually dead. It's too late. We are already completely corrupted. Our perfection has gone. One place in the Bible refers to us as being, "dead in your transgressions and sins." (Ephesians 2:1).

Hell is not a very nice thing to have to talk about, but it is real. It's really the place after physical death where our spiritual death continues forever. All chance for redemption is gone. But spiritual death is the term that sums up hell, and it sums up our situation without Jesus Christ here in this physical life. If we have sinfully disconnected ourselves from God then we have no spiritual life, and being cut off from God we are spiritually dead.

And that's why Jesus said that we must be "born again". Again, that's a term that is so misunderstood these days. People use it almost like a political label, as if a "born again Christian" was different to an ordinary Christian. Even some Christians don't really understand the point of why Jesus said we must be born again!

Ironically, Jesus said that we must be "born again" to emphasise the simple fact that you can't do it yourself. You can't decide to be born again "of the Spirit" any more than you decided to be born the first time around! Spiritually dead people cannot raise themselves to life either, any more than physically dead people can bring themselves back to life!

Being saved is just that: being saved - passive - not saving yourself. There is nothing you yourself can do to get back on the right track. If your eyes are opened to see your need, God did it. If you have a desire to come to Jesus, God gave you that desire. He gives spiritual life and sight.

In terms of salvation - bringing us back in to a right relationship with God - Jesus Christ has done it all. This is the fifth, and most important, point I want you to realize. The reason Christians get so enthusiastic is because of the amazement that Jesus has enabled us to be saved from spiritual death. We can now start to (although not perfectly in this life) relate to Him in the way that we are supposed to, to appreciate His beauty, His perfect righteousness and morality, the order of His creation, the magnitude of His glory. And we can look forward to a day when God has promised to wrap this imperfect universe up and chuck it away, replacing it with one which is recreated in perfection again. This time it will last forever, and His people will enjoy God in His perfect New Creation forever, without end.

We have a hope, and this is how we have the hope:

Jesus Christ, God's own Son, came to earth and was born as a human being, so that He was just as much human as He is God. He suffered the temptations we suffer, He suffered the pains we suffer, and He suffered the separation from God that we should ultimately suffer. He did that on the cross, when He hung there saying, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"

I don't know if you quite get the full force of this. God provided what was necessary for our salvation by giving His own Son! We could do nothing for ourselves. We are not capable of doing anything to save ourselves. Only God could save us. And He did it by sending His only Son to die for us, in our place. The punishment that we deserved was placed on Him, so that we might be able to enjoy the eternal life that Jesus deserved. And Jesus was vindicated and proved successful by being raised from the dead.

Why do Christians get so emotional? Why are we so keen for others to know about Jesus? Are we just trying to convert others to our point of view in the same way that a politician tries to get you to switch allegiance and vote for them? Are we just raving about something we enjoy and might be enjoyed by others? No, much more than that! We have been brought from death to life by someone who was willing to die for us, rather than judge us. God showed us that even though His perfect character and His justice requires that we be separated from His perfection, and suffer hell, He himself was willing to provide the only way back for us.

It is truly wonderful, and Christians understandably get carried away with that. So if you meet Christians who try to convert you, please don't resent it. We can see clearly the lost eternity that you are heading for, since we were heading there ourselves before God opened our eyes, and we can see the solution provided by God - Jesus Christ. We want you to find the salvation, and experience the joy and peace, that we have in Him.

So finally, what do you have to do to be saved? What do you have to do to get Jesus to give you the salvation only He can provide?

Effectively nothing! Just ask. Just turn to Him and admit you have been wrong to turn your back on God. Admit that you are a sinner, and that you deserve the wrath of God in hell - the spiritual separation - because of the way you have not acknowledged His ways and His glory. Believe in Jesus Christ, and His promise of forgiveness and eternal life. This is what we call "repentance" and "faith". Nothing else is required.

Whatever else we do is in response to God's goodness and His promises to us. But His salvation is available to us if we simply turn to Him and believe.

In conclusion, I hope that this article has given readers of this blog who are not (yet) Christians a bit of explanation of some of the mysterious things that I often write about.

I made this article part of the "reflections on hardship" series (I never intended it to be a series, but I seem to have a lot to say about it, so it has turned into a series!). But you have not heard me mention hardship yet! Really I have been trying to explain the foundations that were assumed when I wrote the other articles. I hope you can now see why Christians should see hardship in the way I have tried to outline. God has been gracious to us, giving us an eternal hope, in the giving of His Son to die for us, so why should we fear anything else? He is the Almighty God and He is good, and He is on our side, through Jesus!

"What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all - how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died - more than that, who was raised to life - is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: 'For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.'
"No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels now demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:31-39)


Please do send me questions if there is anything you don't understand. I am quite happy to get into discussion.

Book Review - You Can Change by Tim Chester (IVP 2008)

When I saw Tim Chester's book, You Can Change (IVP 2008) on the church bookstall I was intrigued. It touched a nerve. There are things in my life I am not proud of that I would like to change. It seems sometimes like I have been trying to change them for years without success. And here is a book that offers some encouragement. You can change!

I already had some sense of Tim Chester's penetrating insight into human nature through part-reading The Busy Christian's Guide to Busyness. But I did not expect the seismic impact You Can Change has had.

I can honestly say that You Can Change is one of the most refreshing Christian books I have ever read - and I have read quite a lot. It ranks alongside Desiring God and The Pleasures of God, by John Piper, and Knowing God, by J.I.Packer, at the top of my reading list. I concur with Tim Keller's endorsement, when he writes, "A book about Christian growth that is neither quietistic nor moralistic is rare. A book that is truly practical is even rarer. This volume falls into both categories." Paul Tripp says that You Can Change is, "Shockingly honest, carefully theological and gloriously hopeful."

My approach to reviewing the book will be to highlight the things that have made an impact on me personally, and will, according to the Holy Spirit's gracious work, change me. Through sharing the way the book helped me, I hope to commend it to you.

Biblical, doctrinal and practical
Like a well-balanced expository sermon, You Can Change weaves Biblical exposition, careful doctrinal teaching and penetrating practical insight with challenging specific applications. This, it has to be said, is what makes it great.

Every main point is backed up with exposition of relevant Bible texts. So the entire progression of thought throughout the book is anchored in Biblical wisdom.

Perhaps even more surprising, but pleasing in the age in which we live, is the freedom with which doctrines are brought into the argument. Many popular writers shy away from talking about doctrines, perhaps partly on the basis that the modern church is so theologically illiterate and therefore many readers would not understand the meaning of "sanctification" or "justification". Or perhaps it's also partly a desire not to be labelled and pinned to any theological school, especially if that happens to be Reformed/Calvinist. Tim Chester does not show any reticence in this, freely showing how the doctrines of justification, sanctification, repentance and faith work together. I will come back to one way in which this helped me later.

But of equal importance is Time Chester's supreme gift of understanding human nature and motivation. Chapter after chapter he unlocks the deepest urges that move us to sin, shows they are dealt with in the Bible and gives the Biblical antidote. This is what makes the book so rare. It carries the reader seamlessly through primary Biblical texts and systematic theology through to practical application.

Neither is practical application an afterthought. Not only is there helpful application in the chapter text itself, but the questions for reflection are also extremely helpful. He also has a section of questions at the end of each chapter to help you with your own "change project". This enables the reader to road test and learn to apply the Biblical principles laid out in the book.

This was one of the main reasons that I took nearly 6 months to finish reading the book, even though it has less than 200 pages. If you are serious about growing and changing into the likeness of Christ, you need to take time to understand your heart and understand how God works in your life through the Spirit, based on Christ's work. The questions at the end of each chapter are not, as they are in so many popular Christian devotional books, almost superfluous and disconnected. They are a core part of the objective of the book, and I would contend that your progress in the Christian life will be less sustained if you skip them.

Sanctification is by faith
"Sometimes people say conversion is all God's work, but sanctification is a co-operation between us and God. Neither statement is entirely true. Conversion is all God's work, but we have a responsibility to respond with faith and repentance. It turns out that faith and repentance are also God's work in us, his gift to us. God opens blind eyes; God grants repentance (Mark 8:18-30; 2 Corinthians 4:4-6; 2 Timothy 2:25). That's why conversion is entirely an act of God's grace. But, at God's initiative and with God's help, we're involved. And it's the same with sanctification. Sanctification is God's work. But we're not passive. We have to respond with faith and repentance. And it turns out that faith and repentance are God's work in us. So salvation from start to finish is God's work, in which we are active participants through faith and repentance by the grace of God. We work hard, but then say with Paul, 'It was not I, but the grace of God that was in me' (1 Corinthians 15:10, ESV). 'Work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose' (Philippians 2:12-13)." (pp62-63)

I admit I am one of those people who, for practical purposes, acted as if I had been justified by grace through faith, but had to take personal responsibility for my Christian growth (sanctification). So I was living with severe guilt, wondering if God was punishing me for failing him time and time again. I tried making vows, praying hard, reading more of the Bible. But Tim Chester's book uncovered the fact I was doing this to try to impress God, to earn His favour when God has already done everything necessary to bring us all His riches without any of our works.

Now I may be a layperson, with no theological letters after my name. But I have read a fair number of books by the likes of Piper, Packer, Sproul, Montgomery-Boice, Stott, Carson, Calvin, Luther and some of the puritans. So these are Biblical truths I should have known, but when I examined the way I was living I discovered I did not live by them.

This was liberating for me, and I expect it will be for most Christians reading You Can Change. I can now look to God, trusting in all His promises, working within me, rather than looking to my own strength (that I patently do not have). It will be a continual refinement of my faith, battling the unbelief that still lies within me, and repentance, killing the sinful desires that still seek to control me.

Exposing the roots of sinful behaviour
One of the other things that makes You Can Change so helpful is that it doesn't deal only with the sinful behaviour itself. This was an eye-opener for me, but again, something I should have already known.

Supported with Biblical wisdom, the author peels back layer after layer of human psychology until you get a picture of the causes of sinful behaviour. It's not that he's saying there are causes of sinful behaviour that remove our responsibility. It's that our sin runs deeper than we know. The sinful behaviour that we often regret is based on deeper issues, things that we need to expose and deal with.

Layer number one: "There is a twofold problem in the heart: what we think or trust and what we desire or worship. Sin happens when we don't trust God above everything … and when we don't desire God above everything… Sin happens when we believe lies about God instead of God's word and when we worship idols instead of worshipping God." (p76)

Layer number two: "Behind every sin and negative emotion is a lie" (p81). Knowing and embracing the truth is what sets us free - the truth about God, that He is great, glorious, good and gracious. And let's be clear this is not about belief that is intellectual or confessed with our lips. This is about what our lives show that we believe about God.

Layer number three: "We desire or worship idols instead of worshipping God" (p109). An idol is clarified as, "whatever you're greedy for". These are the "sinful desires" that are spoken of in the New Testament.

Another extended quote will probably help at this point:

"'For where your treasure is,' says Jesus, 'there your heart will be also' (Matthew 6:21). Whatever you treasure most is the thing that has your heart and controls your life. The process is described well by our English word 'captivated'. We're made captive by our desires. Our hearts are captured. We confuse 'free-willed' with 'self-willed'. We think we're free when we break away from God, but we become enslaved by our own sinful desires. 'A man is a slave to whatever has mastered him' (2 Peter 2:19). 'No-one can serve two masters. Either he will hate one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money' (Matthew 6:24). We serve whatever our hearts desire most. If that desire is for God and his glory, then God is our master. But if our desire is, for example, for money, then money is our master, and that's idolatry." (p111)

Layer number four: We often struggle to change because of love of sin or love of self. Sometimes we struggle with changing because we actually only hate the consequences of sin, but still love the sin. Sometimes we struggle because we are trying to change in our own strength, so our failures hurt our pride. Sometimes we proudly minimise our sin, or make excuses (blaming things like upbringing, context, personality, etc), or we try to hide our sin.

By the time all these layers had been stripped back in my own change project I felt like I was staring at a festering can of worms where my heart used to be! I had exposed an idol worshipping, unbelieving, sin-loving heart, which I could hardly bear to look at. And I had thought I was at least part way along the road of sanctification! No chance! I have hardly begun. I am still taking my baby steps! Oh what grace I need in this race, this battle!

The antidote for sinful behaviour
If you are anything like me, you will find yourself resonating at many points during the almost surgical analysis of the sin-diseases that cause our sin-symptoms. But what becomes patently clear is that much of our failure in purifying ourselves to grow into the likeness of Christ is because we only deal with our sins at the level of symptoms. We need to go to root causes to successfully combat the sin-diseases deep in our hearts.

It is perhaps the right time to again say that this work is as much God's work as our initial conversion. His transforming power is given in ways and measures according to His will, just as He predestines and calls and justifies according to His will (Romans 8:29). However, we also need to know what actions are our responsibilities, so that we can seek the power of God to work within us for them.

The answer is part of the logical flow of the book, but does not gel very well with the way we are normally taught to battle sin. We are normally taught to discipline ourselves. And therefore rule-based strategies are the natural inclination.

According to Tim Chester, the way we battle sin in our growth as Christians is the same way we battle sin in our conversion. Putting this in more theological terms, our sanctification is not disconnected from our justification. The two are based on the same foundation of Christ's death on the cross, and victorious resurrection and ascension. Our part in that is to repent and believe. We are converted and are justified through faith. We are sanctified also through faith.

And repentance is not something additional to faith. It is part of the same action. Repentance is turning from our sin and unbelief. Faith is turning to the one true God through the only mediator, His Son, Jesus Christ.

So the book helps us to think through Biblically practical strategies for killing sinful desires and battling residual unbelief. We kill sinful desires by a) avoiding things that provoke them; b) avoiding things that strengthen them; and c) saying 'no' to them. We battle residual unbelief by strengthening our faith in the truth. And we do that through a) the Bible; b) prayer; c) community; d) worship; e) service; f) suffering; and g) hope.

You may think those practical strategies sound very much like the standard, discipline and rule-based approach. But listen to what the author has to say in You Can Change:

"Sometimes people call them [the seven things suggested to reinforce faith] 'spiritual disciplines'. But I believe this is unhelpful terminology. It can make Christian growth seem like an achievement on our part. In reality, it's God who changes us through his grace. The only true spiritual disciplines in the Christian life are faith and repentance, actions that direct our attention to God's gracious activity. So instead I prefer the traditional term: 'means of grace'. These are ways in which God is gracious to us and by which he strengthens his work of grace in our hearts. They are the means God uses to feed our faith in him." (p153)

For me this gives a fresh motivation for the things I do as a Christian. Again, I should have known these things, but somehow they had been lost amidst the busyness of just doing stuff because that's what Christians do! Now I am freed from just doing stuff. I now know these things are feeding my faith, which will strengthen my desire for God and joy in Him.

We need each other
Here we come to an area that will take me time to absorb and practically accept, even though I am now convinced that it is essential. It calls for an openness that is, for me at least, scary!

For years I have read in Christian growth books that we must makes ourselves accountable to close Christian friends, so that we ask them to make sure that we are continuing in the way we should go. I have always resisted that, partly for right reasons (at least I can rationalise them), partly for wrong reasons.

The right reasons for not going along with the accountability approach, I would argue, are that a) we can never be truly accountable to another person that has not been appointed by a higher authority; and b) it encourages us to put other mediators between us and God. In truth we are accountable directly to God for our behaviour, and Christ is our only mediator. The accountability approach is just another part of the discipline that deals only at sin-symptom level, but does not get to the sin-disease.

However, what You Can Change has made me realise is that really I am just making excuses. "Why don't we look to one another for support in change? What don't we open up to others? Why do we avoid messy relationships? No doubt there are many reasons. We're too busy, too independent, too fearful, too self-absorbed. But if we truly believed that Jesus has given us the Christian community to help us change, then we would make it a priority." (p179)

With Biblical arguments I already knew (yet again!) the author establishes that the Christian church exists in order to encourage and build each other up in repentance and faith in the truth. Rather than thinking about accountability to others in the church we should look to receive the grace of God through our brothers and sisters. And we receive that grace as we ask for their help, confessing our sins, allowing them to pray for us, allowing them to share their experiences and to challenge us. And we ourselves can be a channel for God's grace to others as we help them.

When you see it like that it becomes difficult to come up with a reason for not asking for help! But for me, I confess that one of the things that the whole "change project" exercise highlighted was that I care deeply what other people think of me. Whatever my sinful behaviours and negative emotions are when they manifest themselves, beneath it all are the sinful desires for the approval of others. I crave desire, love, respect and attention. And therefore one of the consequences is that I find it difficult to admit my faults to other people. This is what Tim Chester says in the "change project" questions at the end of chapter 7: "Have you asked someone to hold you accountable in your struggle? If not, then either you fear exposure more than you desire God or you still want to keep open the option to sin." Ouch! (Incidentally, I am still not very comfortable in principle with the language of "accountability", but I got the point… sharply!)

I have gone almost the whole of my life as a Christian, thinking that I would be able to grow by individual effort (with God's help) alone. I have failed to realise practically that God uses means. He does move supernaturally and miraculously in our hearts and wills directly, but most commonly he uses means such as preaching, worship, suffering, music, baptism, the Lord's Supper, Christian books… and all these within the community of the church. I cannot neglect seeking the help of my Christian brothers and sisters any longer if I want to grow more like Christ, who is our Head.

Conclusion
The book is rounded off with the Biblical hope that we can change, because God has secured the victory for us over sin and death in Christ. It also highlights that change is not a one-off project, but a lifelong daily struggle. It's a battle, a race. Progress is made normally through winning small daily battles to press forward day after day, not gigantic struggles to make giant leaps forward.

I was left with the impression, rightly I believe, that this is what the Christian life is all about. It addresses the fundamentals of our hearts, our sinful nature and the way God works in us from conversion to glorification. And because of that I count You Can Change as no ordinary practical guide to growing as a Christian. It lays forth clearly the Biblical keys that will enable many otherwise ordinary struggling twenty-first-century Christians to become closer to the likeness of our glorious Christ. And only God knows what kind of change in the church and society that might usher in.

Reflections on Hardship 3

One thing I knew when I wrote my last blog post on hardship was that my return to paid employment, after 8 months of struggling, would not mean an end of trials and hardships in my life. One of Jesus' promises to His followers is, "In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." (John 16:33)

So the fact that after only a month in the new job I was taken ill (and in fact I am writing this from my hospital bed), suffering physical pain, while at the same time losing at least a months worth of income, should not be a surprise.

I had so many plans. I was back in the saddle, in a new job. I was maxing out my time trying to start building an internet business in my spare time, so that when my new contract came to an end I would have a head start. I had plans to make improvements to processes in my new job, motivate the team, see them improve and start to perform more confidently and successfully. But now I feel derailed.

But I rejoice in that derailment. I don't know what God is doing for me personally, or for my family. But I do know one thing. That is that God wants me to share my reflections on my experiences, so that He may be glorified. "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort." So wrote the apostle Paul in 2 Corinthians 1:3-7.

So I will share with you my weakness and vulnerability, and the peace and comfort I receive from my great God and Saviour, so that God may be glorified.

It's not a bad feeling to feel derailed every now and again. It's a good thing to acknowledge that we are not completely in control of our lives. God is ultimately in control. If He allows our plans to succeed, it is by His grace. If He does not, it is also by His grace and for our good, if we love Him. "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28)

It's also good to submit all our plans to God's will, acknowledging they will not succeed except with His permission. "Now listen, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.' Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, 'If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that.' As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil." (James 4:13-16)

I will just make two more points in this article, otherwise I am in danger of waffling!

Firstly, I was struck by the honesty of a dear friend, who after hearing a sermon on Hebrews 12, and being urged to consider hardship as God's discipline on His children, said he had real problems believing that. When you stop talking about hardship as a concept, and start saying something more specific, like for example, having a child die of leukemia, or suffering starvation, or suffering the violent abuse of a drunken husband, then you really have to ask the question, "do I really believe this is brought about by God for my discipline and training in holiness?" Would God allow His beloved children to suffer such awful things?

Before I come to my response to that, something occurred to me in hospital. I have never been hospitalized before and the whole experience is quite new. For example, I have had to have an intravenous drip and blood tests and injections almost daily. Both my arms are left with huge bruising from just the blood tests. Some pain was involved in all of these things. I remarked to one of the junior doctors that I could not do their job, because I would be so nervous hurting people with needles all day long! The crucial procedure that relieved the jaundice I initially presented with left me in enormous internal pain for several days. But the jaundice cleared (I now have other problems!).

Doctors and nurses know better than anybody that most of the time you have to increase and cause pain to some degree in order to relieve the more serious illness.

So when God causes us pain (I use the word "cause" because I believe in God's absolute sovereignty, and therefore whether he allows pain to happen which he could prevent, or whether he sends pain personally, you have the pain because He wants you to have it) it is because He sees better than we do that our lack of holiness, or our unbelief and lack of faith, is a more serious illness.

In extreme cases, as battlefield doctors would know especially, an arm or a leg has to be amputated in order to save a person's life if the limb is going to cause a fatal infection or fatal blood loss. And battlefield doctors sometimes have to do this without anesthetic! It's awfully painful but for the good of the patient.

In the same way, Jesus said, "If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell." (Matthew 5:29) We are told to cause ourselves pain to avoid the greater pain of being separated from God. Sometimes God has to inflict the pain on us Himself, because we won't do it ourselves, in order to follow through His saving work in our lives. He does it because He loves us.

So, do I think it is harsh that I am in pain and losing money, so that I may learn to acknowledge God is in control and I am not? Not at all. Notice the way the apostle James (in the quote I gave above) speaks about the attitude that makes plans without acknowledging God's will: "As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil." (James 4:16)

By this pain I am being freed from an evil mindset. That is why I rejoice, and I pray that I will always remember to preface all my plans and designs with, "if the Lord wills", or "God-willing", or the old fashioned, "DV" (Deus Volenti).

My second, and final, observation for this time, is that sometimes God denies us good things that we ask for in order to provide something better (from His eternal and omniscient perspective). That includes health, wellbeing, wealth, peace, freedom, etc.

I have found John Piper helpful in a story he tells in his book, Future Grace:

"God often blesses us with a 'grace given' in the circle of a 'grace denied.' For example, on a beastly hot day in July the water pump on our car stopped working and twenty miles from any town we were stranded on the Interstate in Tennessee. I had prayed that morning that the car would work well and that we would come to our destination in safety. No one was stopping as we stood around our car. Then my son Abraham (about eleven at the time) said, 'Daddy, we should pray.' So we bowed behind the car and asked God for some future grace - a help in time of need. When we looked up, a pickup truck had pulled over. The driver was a mechanic who worked about twenty miles away. He said he would be willing to go get the parts and come back and fix the car. I rode with him to town and was able to share the gospel with him. We were on our way in about five hours.

"Now the remarkable thing about that answer to our prayer is that it came inside the circle of a prayer denied. We asked for a trouble-free trip. God gave us trouble. But in the midst of a grace denied we got a grace supplied. And I am learning to trust God's wisdom in giving the grace that is best for me and for unbelieving mechanics and for the faith of eleven-year-old boys. We should not be surprised that God gives us wonderful graces in the midst of suffering that we had asked him to spare us. He knows best how to apportion his grace for our good and for his glory."

I admit that sometimes that "grace supplied" may not be obvious. God never promised to share with us the reasons for everything that He does. But saving faith is all about learning to trust God, that His promises are true, they are all "'Yes' in Christ" (2 Corinthians 1:20), that His passion for His glory is also for our eternal good - even when we don't see it. It is this faith that is the most important thing in the life of a Christian. As the apostle Peter said, "These [trials] have come so that your faith - of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire - may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honour when Jesus Christ is revealed." (1 Peter 1:7).

May we always look for that proof and increase in faith in all our hardships, pains and sufferings.

Reflections on Hardship 2

In my last post I reflected on what God's purposes are in the hardships faced by His children. We are running the race of life, the purpose of which is to share in God's holiness. The writer to the Hebrews tells us to "endure hardship as discipline" (Hebrews 12:7). God is disciplining us to run the race with perseverance, to keep on running.

I referred to a helpful hymn by John Newton, which soulfully acknowledges that God often answers our prayers for a deeper relationship with Him in ways that are often confusing and painful. It's worth repeating the last verse of the hymn, in which Newton shows what he believes is God's reply to his complaints about his temptation and inner suffering:

"These inward trials I employ,

From self, and pride, to set thee free;

And break thy schemes of earthly joy,

That thou may’st find thy all in Me.”

But there is a deeper purpose. If we find our all in God, through Christ, then we glorify God. When we draw from Him everything we need, and when we realise that everything that we really need is in God, we magnify the Creator, we magnify His grace and His love and His power. As John Piper, of Desiring God Ministries, has often said, "God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him." And God's deepest concern is that His glory be seen and appreciated.

So I have a further reflection. A few days after I posted the previous article, sharing my long unemployment and the hardships I was feeling, I managed to secure some work that could keep me occupied full-time for up to a year. I may say more about that job in the future. Suffice to say for the moment, it is located such that it involves a huge amount of commuting and staying away from home, so I am feeling as if one kind of hardship has been graciously replaced by another! It's as if I've graduated from one kind of exercise, under God's training, to another!

Does that sound ungrateful?

Well, consider this: When I communicated my new job to my friends and family, there was an overflow of joy. The comments of my Christian friends were all variations of "Praise the Lord!" or "Hallelujah!" Not many of my status updates on facebook draw much comment. But when I posted my news, the amount of praise for God for His goodness that was posted as comments was overwhelming.

It made me think, if I had moved straight from my last job into a new job without an 8 month gap, would it have prompted so much praise? I don't think so. Therefore, that difficult time of unemployment has resulted in more praise to God! And more praise to God is pleasing to God.

Now, at times I confess that I have complained to God that He does not seem to answer my prayers. I read Jesus' promise that, "If you ask for anything in my name, it will be given to you." And - forgive me, Lord - quite often I have laughed! "I have prayed for months for a job, in order to feed my family, and you say that you care about me and will answer my prayers!"

But I guess I conveniently forgot the times I have prayed, "Hallowed be your Name, Your Kingdom come, Your will be done!" I have asked the Lord on many occasions to glorify Himself through me.

So my sin is shown up yet again, because what I'm really praying is, "Glorify yourself in me, but in my way!" Without knowing it, our prayers are often out of line with our underlying good desire to glorify God. We think so simplistically!

So I have learned (until I need to learn it again) to praise God for finding me paid employment, but also to praise Him for unemployment because He has graciously used me to bring Him more praise. And therefore I will not be ungrateful for a job that brings other hardships, because I know that He has a good purpose in that too, and that He will again bring praise to Himself through it - and that is good. I may not always show that gratitude in everything I say and do, any more than a record breaking athlete looks like he is enjoying his training! But deep down I have to learn every day to trust the Lord, knowing that because He cares about His own glory He also cares for me. He not only gives us everything we need to live and serve Him, but He gives us more than that - He gives us Himself.

"… I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." (Phil 4:11ff)